So, today was registration for public school. A crowded elementaty school cafeteria packed with civically dutiful, appropriately outfitted and morally superior women there to ensure that their children's entitlment to tax dollars is documented and irrefutable.... Then it happened, the door swung open, and brazenly, like it had every right to be there, a man walked in. Visibly tattoed, standing there in an untucked shirt, with hair poking out of the neck and a ball cap that couldn't entirely cover the bandana holding back the untrimmed hair on his head. Not even the humility to wear a pair of golf slacks, he came in with one pup in his left arm, on clinging to his belt, and one two steps ahead carrying her folder full of documentation.
We navigated the lines, presented our papers and took our seats to fill out more paper amidst females that regarded us with a range of shock, adoration, pity and total disdain... Especially when my son took a fall, getting his knock on the head for the day, and my response did not include the expected about of hysteria. Eventually, after what must have been wildly amusing to all witnesses, we got it done and made our exit.
Now, this is a bit dramatized. And I'm pretty comfortable with standing out in a good cross section of crowds.. espicially when the kids are with me. But I'm serious. I didn't see any other men there, and these women all seemed to wonder just what the hell I thought I was doing there.
The inner monologue went something like this
Yes bitch. I have kids
Yes bitch. They've all got the same mom.
Yes bitch. I take care of them.
Yes bitch. I give a shit
No bitch. I'm not applying for free food (here anyway)
Yes bitch. I'll be happy to check out your husbands mower/ trimmer so you can stop bitching at the poor bastard about that and move on to something else.
Yes bitch. Those tits are worth every damn dime.
Have a nice day.
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